A large group of Alberta Conservatives gathered in front of a rural hospital in support of much needed upgrades and staff.  “We pay taxes, we deserve staffses” they chanted.  A young male wearing a “Just say NO to big government” t-shirt walked hand-in-hand with a woman wearing a “tax this Notley” t-shirt.

The young man complained that his aging father had been transported to the “big city” hospital recently due to a lack of local staff.  “We get free parking here,” he told us, “and the only reason they had to move Dad was because half of the hospital is unusable due to staff shortages.”  The young woman concurred.  “It’s because of the socialist government” she stated pointedly, “they are just helping their union friends in the city; they don’t care about rural”.

Malcolm Mayes

“We chose to live in a rural area because the property taxes are so much lower” the young woman continued.

“She hit the nail on the head” the young man chimed in, “we both work in the city and now they’re considering tolls for the roads – that’s just punishing us for not paying their high taxes.  We don’t live there – we shouldn’t have to contribute more to use their infrastructure. We’re all Albertans.”

“He gets it” she said with admiration, “I mean, what does it cost to build a road anyway? They have to have one” she said disdainfully.  “We don’t want to pay the city’s high taxes” she went on, “and even though they’re getting a new hospital, if we had the six extra beds here, like think of how much that would decrease the need for beds there! It’s just common sense.”

“See?” He asked, “she really gets it.  We deserve to pay less taxes because we live outside of the city.  Conservatives get that.  They understand that we deserve to pay less but we should have access to the same services in the city because we’re all Albertans here.”

“Exactly,” she said excitedly, pointing her finger at us, “that’s common sense right there.  Only a socialist government would try to take more money from us – I mean, we don’t cost them anything at all.”

“My grandma has dementia” she told us, “this socialist government wouldn’t build a dementia centre here so I have to travel almost two hours to visit her.  That’s why we’re voting for the United Conservative Party; they’ll put more money in our pockets so we can afford to travel to see our loved ones”.  The young man gave her arm a squeeze of support, adding “taxes are theft, pure and simple” he said as he rejoined the protesters.

Satire…?

Deirdre Mitchell-MacLean
Content Director/Writer

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