Alberta’s Participation Ribbon Fiscal Panel led by Former Saskatchewan Finance Minister Janice MacKinnon delivered its eagerly awaited political cover document to Finance Minister Travis Toews today. 

Toews said he would give his family and friends two weeks to maximize their use of government services before the UCP reveals the budgetary blitzkrieg that is about to take place. 

“If the public sector thought Ralph Klein was a savage with a pair of scissors, just wait til you see the cuts we’ve got in store for them,” said Toews in the Alberta Legislature’s press room, announcing his excitement at being able to put the devastation of Alberta’s public services and loss of tens of thousands of jobs at the feet of another crazy NDP socialist. 

“As a dedicated Riders fan and long-time Saskatchewan MLA, we knew MacKinnon was even more eager to destroy Alberta than her communist comrade Notley. This report gives us the cover to continue to blame the NDP for the next four years of misery we’re about to inflict,” said Toews with a deviant smile. 

The panel was given a mandate to figure out how to balance the budget without raising any new revenues, while factoring in the elimination of $4.5 billion in existing income from the government, which according to MacKinnon was not dissimilar to building a house using only a jackhammer, but for the right amount of money she was happy to help fulfill the UCP’s sadistic fantasies. 

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