Brazilian President Pledges to Let Amazon Burn to Get Even with That Meanie Macron

In a stunning escalation of their Facebook rivalry, Brazilian President Jair Bolsanaro has committed to allowing the entire Amazon to burn if French President Emmanuel Macron doesn’t say sorry for calling him a bad president. 

The tiff started after Bolsanaro had commented to “not embarrass the guy” when one of his supporters made a derogatory comment on a photo of the two President’s wives together – saying that Macron was probably jealous of Bolsanaro’s younger wife. 

“I am very proud that as President of France, I don’t need the salary and support of the French taxpayers,” said Macron. 

“I know President Bolsanaro is just jealous that my sugar mama provides me with all the care and support I need. You’d never see me being so insecure as to burn down my own country as leverage in a dispute.”

Bolsanaro responded by saying that until Macron kisses his feelings better, the Amazon will burn.

“We’ll see how long that old hag “sugar mama” can breathe when the lungs of the earth are dead,” Bolsanaro concluded with a maniacal laugh. 

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