Canadian Politics

Third Party Advertiser Shocked it Got What it Paid For

In a tragic case of mistaken capitalism, third Party advertiser, True North Strong and Free, says it does not support the content it collected donations for, ordered, and paid for.

The third Party advertiser commissioned billboards to run in select cities across the country with a picture of Maxime Bernier and the statement “Say NO to Mass Immigration”.

In an emailed statement, owner Frank Smeenk, a longtime Conservative Party donor and Stephen Harper nuzzler said he “unequivocally disavowed the message as soon as people got their panties in a bunch about it.”

People’s Party of Canada Leader Maxime Bernier released a statement saying this was “all leftist bullshit trying to censor the shitty attitudes of assholes who are immigrants themselves”.

“We are all Canadians, and we got here first,” Bernier told reporters. “So we have every right to lock up our borders and our daughters and our healthcare and our education. We want people who don’t have to worry about being ‘bombed’ or ‘raped’ or ‘killed’ – we want people who want to be in Canada for the right reasons.”

Smeenk, if that is his real name, told media via a numbered gmail account that his business of advertising for third parties did not condone the advertisements his business commissioned on their behalf.

“We’re just middle men,” he wrote, “we just take orders and have no input or critical thinking capability to add.”

“And so we sent the order to the billboard company and then we confirmed the advertisement, and we approved the mock up after requesting a couple of changes and ensuring all information about the third party advertiser, us, was there, and we confirmed that it was exactly what we wanted.”

“But,” he added hastily, “we totally didn’t want this spotlight on us as a company or especially me as a person. I just do business and I don’t think they can prove that I had anything to do with this order or confirming anything. It wasn’t me and we totally disavow this kind of ignorant click-bait.”

“But we would like to offer a special reduced rate to any corporate donor who would like to pay us to take the heat next time. That’s what we’re here for, to be the messengers, unless your message makes us look bad.”

Pattison Outdoor Advertising seconded the sentiment adding that they would take payment for almost anything but reserved the right to think about what they were promoting if the public made a big deal about it.

Bassett & Walker International Inc. could not be reached for comment as they were busy preparing a lawsuit against the shysters that took their money and then threw them under a bus by publicly disgracing them when shit hit the fan.

This post is satire.

Deirdre Mitchell-MacLean


Twitter: @Mitchell_AB for all the commentary; @thisweekinAB for posts; @politicalRnD to guess “who tweeted that”?

Subscribe or Donate

By the by, the UCP AGM is coming up and donations (or subscriptions) will help get me there.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *