Alberta Inquiry Begs Albertans to Stop Reporting Jason Kenney

“It has to stop,” Alberta Inquiry Commissioner Steve Allan sobbed. “Why don’t these people understand that there’s ‘good’ foreign investment and ‘bad’ foreign investment?”

The foreign funding snitch line crashed the website on Monday after Premier Jason Kenney announced he was in New York asking Americans to invest in Alberta.

“The kind of investment the Premier is trying to snag is ‘good’ investment that will lead to jobs all Canadians will be proud of, not just some lame job that feeds your family,” the Commissioner said.

“People need to think critically here; foreign investment that the Premier likes is ‘good’ investment. It’s not that hard to grasp.”

Kenney flew to New York on Saturday so he could take Sunday to enjoy New York in the fall. The Premier’s schedule noted he would pay for his own meals that day. He will then begin a busy week of wooing oil and gas investment out of America where they have oil, gas, and ~12,000 miles of coast.

The Premier will be championing Alberta in New York, Ohio and New Brunswick, in that order, because he doesn’t have to pay for the flights himself.

This post is satirical.

Deirdre Mitchell-MacLean

Deirdre is a political commentator, columnist, reporter, and podcaster in Alberta. She relies on facts, snarky Twitter, and satire to share knowledge and a laugh. 

contact: [email protected], [email protected]

Twitter: @Mitchell_AB for all the commentary; @thisweekinAB for posts; @politicalRnD to guess “who tweeted that”?

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