Althea Lamb, a vegan fast food employee in British Columbia says she is supporting Erin O’Toole with the hope that he will provide conscience rights to all workers in Canada.

“When I heard Mr. O’Toole talk about conscience rights, I knew he was the one I had to vote for,” Lamb said in between refusing to take orders for hamburgers.

“Our beliefs are much stronger than the tyranny of the public demanding us to do things we don’t feel comfortable doing.”

The 22 year old B.C. student said she felt she could make a difference in the fast food industry by refusing to provide service.

“People gotta understand that I’m here for a much greater purpose than doing what they want – I’m here to do what I want,” she said with conviction.

Lamb’s supervisor, 28 year old J.L.C.M.R. Grant, said that he was doing his best to appease both her strong beliefs against animal cruelty and the need for his employees to do their jobs.

“I’ve had her making salads – she likes that – and also getting beverages, and she was good at both of them,” he said hesitantly.

“Just knowing she can’t be trusted to take customer orders or put a hamburger into a bag makes it a little more difficult than working with the rest of the staff.”

Lamb said that because she lived in a smaller town her choices for employment were limited, but she didn’t feel it should affect her employment.

“I had these beliefs before they hired me,” she said while giving her supervisor side-eye, “they can’t fire me for my deeply held beliefs – even if I won’t do the job.”

“That’s why I support Erin O’Toole. I expect that under his leadership, Canada will finally become a country that respects individuals more than everyone else and my rights to deny people what they came here for will be respected – applauded, even,”

Grant said that due to Covid-19 the restaurant was short-staffed and Lamb, who showed up on time, was good at some things.

“I try to balance the customer’s frustration with the fact that I need someone who will work split shifts and come in when I call,” he said apologetically.

“It’s not so bad, I mean, if the customer advocates for their order loudly enough, someone will hear it eventually and come help.”

He added that so long as there were few other choices for customers, it wouldn’t hurt his business if she refused to serve them.

“In the end, we both win,” he said with a shrug.

This post is satire.

Deirdre is a freelance writer and podcaster physically distancing in southern Alberta.
Connect: @Mitchell_AB, [email protected]