Canadian Politics

Wexit, your ego is writing cheques your party can’t cash

The “Maverick Party”. Dear gawd. Testosterone just reached critical levels in Canadian politics.

I feel the need, the need to breed

Tom Cruise was a bit of a (okay – in the 80’s – a definite) sex symbol before he found the pseudo-science of all religions and started jumping on couches during televised interviews.

So maybe it’s not that far out there to think a political party in Canada would latch on to the days of yore when “Mav” was just the manly patriotic American with PTSD.

Many Albertans would like to be Americans – they just don’t want to move.

But what man doesn’t want to be the broken bad-ass trying to get his life together?

And what woman isn’t drawn to the man-child who needs a good balance of nurturing in betwixt all that steamy sexual satisfaction?

Insert uncool record scratch here.

This could be complicated. You know, on the first one I crashed and burned.

Wexit was a terrible name.

Founder Peter Downing had been simmering for a few years on the problem of Alberta not being fairly represented by the Conservative Party of Canada.

Unfortunately, the Conservative Party of Canada had this grand vision of being elected as government of Canada – and it still does – hence, the problem.

Alberta is known as a safe space for conservatives, many of whom relocate from Ontario because they don’t appreciate the potential of losing to a liberal.

In Alberta, CPC candidates don’t have to prove anything; neither lack of skill nor intelligence will stand in their way if their name is emblazoned upon a blue sign.

And that was a challenge for Wexit before Jason Kenney arrived and began nourishing Alberta’s discontent.

Don’t get me wrong, the fact that the Liberals dared to choose a Trudeau to run their federal party absolutely helped, but Kenney really gave western alienation wings by being so personally threatened by the young Prime Minister.

Credit in part, I’m sure, to Jason Kenney’s literal fear and smear, the Wexit movement grew by leaps and bounds after the 2019 federal election which saw Justin Trudeau hang on to a minority government.

It’s classified. I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you.

Wexit also needed a new representative: Peter Downing was the poor man’s version of a leader who left classified documents with a woman whose personal attention came with an hourly rate.

This aspect was completed in stunningly legitimate fashion with the appointment of Jay Hill, a former Reform Party turned Alliance Party turned Conservative Party of Canada MP.

I’ve said it before and I’ll stand by it; shitty economic decisions are easier to make when you have a multi-million-dollar taxpayer-funded pension to fall back on.

That’s right, Iceman. I am dangerous.

Pleading for support from masculinity-insecure individuals and women who want to prop them up for posterity really comes in second to the fact that a growing separatist movement has yet to be shown to boost economic stability – something that could benefit Alberta far more than a bunch of guys who want to emulate a fictional character from the 1980’s.

Granted, we could give them credit for being at least 20 years ahead of the CPC and Jason Kenney’s UCP but they’re still not quite where we need to be in terms of the future of our province, let alone out country.

You can be my wingman any time.

They just want your unadulterated support and appreciation, wingman.

And for that, they’ll get you precisely what they think you want – at absolutely no physical or monetary cost to themselves.

This post contains opinion.

Deirdre Mitchell-MacLean is a political commentator physically distancing in Southern Alberta. Connect: @Mitchell_AB for more, @thisweekinAB for posts

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