After Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced an advisory committee that will be tasked with promoting skilled trades and apprenticeships across Canada, Jason Kenney has announced that he had replaced the Chairs of the Southern and Northern Alberta Institute of Technology, with an ultimate goal of ending all skilled trades in Alberta. 

“I know I used to talk about a “parity of esteem” between trades and professions, but if this drama teacher thinks trades are good, clearly they must be bad,” said the Premier in an availability announcing the changes to the boards of the leading Alberta polytechnics. 

“In many of the third world countries I travel to, physical labour is done by those without any education, and they don’t seem to have any issues with their economies or safety standards, so on closer reflection, perhaps you don’t need to go beyond high school to contribute meaningfully to our economy.”

“Two to four years spent in an apprenticeship and a classroom is time not spent pulling oneself up by the bootstraps and contributing to our economy, so we look forward to the economic growth this will spur. The trades are just full of union slugs, and post-secondary institutions are just breeding grounds for socialists anyways,” he concluded before cracking a beer and uttering a guttural ‘Berta!

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