Canadian Politics Satire

Jason Kenney a True Canadian Patriot, unless Trudeau is Prime Minister

“Let me be clear, the only way Alberta can dominate the rest of Canada is if we have a leader in Ottawa who is willing to capitulate to my every demand. Scheer is the person best suited to do that,” declared Kenney confidently.

Jason Kenney reminded Albertans and Canadians of his undying love for Canada and his commitment to the country last week after allegations of stoking separatist sentiment in his opposition to Prime Minister Justin Trudeau.

“I have always been a True Canadian Patriot,” said Kenney in a video he posted to social media. “Canada is stronger with Alberta calling the shots, and the only way that will happen is if Andrew Scheer is Prime Minister.”

“I mean when Stephen Harper was in charge, we totally didn’t use federal equalization programs to buy votes in Ontario and Quebec, that would be unscrupulous,” ranted Kenney, who wants people to not forget that the deal he and Harper gave Alberta was so good that Justin Trudeau had to sneak an extension of it by even the most shrewd of legislators and politicos on Scheer’s team. 

“Let me be clear, the only way Alberta can dominate the rest of Canada is if we have a leader in Ottawa who is willing to capitulate to my every demand. Scheer is the person best suited to do that,” declared Kenney confidently. 

“I am 100% committed to Canada and to being Alberta’s Premier. Unless Trudeau gets back in, then screw this we’re out,” finished Kenney, the Albertan from Ontario via Saskatchewan – not to be confused with Maxime Bernier, the Albertan from Quebec via the Third Reich. 


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