Conservative Billionaire and financier David Koch became the first casualty of Alberta’s Energy War Room after the two Koch brothers announced they were pulling all of their investments in Alberta’s oilpatch. 

“We mean business,” said Energy War Minister Sonya Savage from Edmonton, who gave the kill order after the Koch brothers had put themselves on the new UCP Government’s hit list. 

“We will not tolerate anyone who speaks ill of our energy industry, and we will fight to the death to ensure investment in Alberta’s ethical oil industry,” she said, the irony apparently lost on her. 

As of press time the surviving brother, Charles Koch was in hiding until such time as his business interests could reinvest their billions in the UCP Government’s interests, and as such could not be reached for comment.  

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