Crowded Alberta Classes to be Addressed by Government

Alberta’s United Conservatives have announced an audacious plan to address classroom crowding. (See Premier, we have thesauruses too!)

The plan will see the walls removed from all classrooms in what were formerly known as public schools

“By eliminating literal barriers, we will remove the metaphorical barriers created by having too many students in a classroom,” said Education Minister Adriana LaGrange in a statement. 

A school in southeast Calgary has been running a test pilot of the program since the start of the school year.

“We’ve all heard about hallway medicine and figured if we brought this approach to the classroom, perhaps we could make some headway on this pesky ideological education program the over-caffeinated lefties keep crowing about,” said Premier Jason Kenney when quizzed about the less than conventional approach to education. 

This post contains 100% pure satire.

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